Random Redvines
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fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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(via sebaton)

sodamnrelatable:

when all your friends start talking about something you know nothing about

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(Source: nurseblonda, via fly--me-away)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via ven0moth)

6539milesofloveapart:

abomasnow:

girls are amazing i just watched my friend change 8 times before picking an outfit you girls are so dedicated to looking good i can’t believe there are men out there sitting in their cum stained sweatpants trying to tell you what you’re allowed to wear

thank you

(via sebaton)

wisepizza:

sorry i only date pokemon masters

(Source: nippleicious, via serionsly)

dampsandwich:

Well “officer” if thats even your real name,

(via barack-obottm)

rneerkat:

do pirates hook up

(Source: rneerkat, via fly--me-away)

rrrrosa:

those songs that start in one earbud and flow into the next

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(via hotboyproblems)

chipotlazy:

never underestimate the power of a low quality webcam to make you look good in a selfie

(via unescapable)

raspbeary:

raspbeary:

what do straight ppl do for fun?

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(via armadillo)

pudus:

dont ask me about 2009

(via emmashuttleworth)

rolan-pard:

“every time you post something online the entire world sees it”

yeah then explain to me why my post doesn’t have more notes

(via seedy)

raidioactive:

*texts back 3 weeks later* sorry I fell asleep

(via crystallized-teardrops)